Monday, February 9, 2009

For Such A Time As This...

"... For such a time as this." (Esther 4:14)

I've been thinking a lot lately about this little scripture from Esther. It's seemingly innocent, Mordecai's reply to Esther about what was going on in the kingdom, the Jewish people facing a threat on their lives.

I'm increasingly frustrated with the state of this world, this country. We have families struggling to survive. And I'm not talking about physically surviving. I'm talking about surviving as a family unit. Men, women and children are all being attacked. And we're completely clueless as a nation. We believe that we deserve all of this "stuff" just because we're Americans. Truthfully none of us deserves any of this. I don't deserve to be sitting in a four bedroom house with two bathrooms. Not when there are families all over the world living in one room huts.

I remember a few years ago having a pastor from Zambia over to our house. Hubby and I had been called to be full time missionaries and were in the beginning stages of planning our taking our family (only two kids at the time) to Zambia to help run an orphanage there. Pastor Chewe was nearing the end of his trip. He'd spent time with a lot of people from our church, all of whom were very well off. He'd been to their six bedroom, three story houses on the lake. And then we invited him to have supper with us at our little three bedroom ranch that we were renting. We mentioned feeling a little embarassed because our house was so humble compared to the other places he'd stayed. I remember him looking at us and saying "This would be a mansion where I live." We'd been so worried about how we compared to other Americans that we had forgotten about where our guest came from. He lived in a small hut. He'd lost his wife to the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa. He, himself, was battling (and has since lost that battle) HIV and hepatitis.

I get caught up in the keeping up with the Jones's. Hubby and I are both very guilty of it. And so now are our kids. Every once in awhile though I have these moments of clarity, or maybe extremeism. I get so frustrated by the views of a lot of Americans that I want to sell everything and move to a little hut in the woods somewhere. My own little uni-bomber type shack. I want to just cut myself from all of the outside world. I've even thought about converting to Amish just so I coule move into their communities.

Then I hear that still, small voice whisper to me.... "For such a time as this." God could have created me at any point in history. He could have made me back in the days of Christ. I could have been one of those that perished when Noah's flood came. I could have been created in the days of Little House on the Prairie. But instead, God wanted to make me now. He knew that He could use me here, now. He doesn't want me to go running and hiding, avoiding all contact with people. He wants me to live in this world, making a difference for Him. He wants me to use the tools we've been blessed with to do His work. I can use email for good. I can use TV for good. I can use my skills and talents here. Now. I'm not called to be timid. 2 Timothy says that as a believer in Christ I have been called to have a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline.

I've got the love thing down, though I could always use help. I struggle with loving those that don't love me. And I struggle with worrying what people think about me.

Power and self-discipline. Well that's just a different story altogether. Too often I let my flesh get the best of my body. I eat more than I should. Or drink more coffee than I should. I get frustrated and lash out in anger, instead of in love. (Guess I don't have that love thing down afterall.) I spend more time on the computer than I should. Or watch things that aren't good for me to watch. I'm getting better at the power thing. I view that as standing up for what I know is right, even when it isn't the popular opinion. The problem there is that I sometimes get too opinionated. I've offended people with my political views. I'm working on finding that balance.

That's what it's all about though right. Living for Christ in a fallen world requires balance.

Lord, thank you for your wisdom. You created me for such a time as this. You created me to be here, in 2009. Please allow me to use the things You have blessed me with for Your glory. And only Your glory. Please help me get myself out of the way of You. I just want to be a tool, used for Your glory, reaching Your children for You.